I am Clark Kent

   I am Clark Kent. I am also sleep deprived, and possibly a bit dehydrated; which could, in turn, make me a bit delusional. The good thing is that if I decide to test the "I can fly" theory, I live in flat lands where the highest hill / mountain we have in the city are the blocks that stop your car in the parking lot.

Clark was a sloppy drunk.

   Here's the thing, when Clark Kent is out, he doesn't wear a mask. When I'm out for a run, I too, rarely wear a mask. He ducks in a phone booth and comes out faster, stronger and better. While I don't have any phone booths to duck into along my routes, I have discovered something that I can duck into and come out faster, stronger, and a better runner. What is my version of the Superman phone booth? What have I discovered that can turn you into a superhuman runner? Well, for today only, for the low, low price of $59.99 I can let you in on the secret! (Hurry, this ad goes out in Runner's World next month. By ordering today you can get the jump on all those other chumps.)

   Ok, for real, my big secret? The Port-a-potty. Now, before you get disgusted and redirect your mouse to another web page, (lets just let my writing and inappropriate sense of humor do that, shall we?) allow me to explain. It has nothing to do with the going to the bathroom per se. It's all about the, uh, atmosphere.

And this, my son, is whats known as" flashing" on earth.

I'm about to nerd out for a moment, so stay with me here. In the latest Superman movie, Man of Steel, Supe's dad explains the reasons his son is basically a god on foreign planet. Earth has a more nourishing atmosphere, the yellow sun's radiation does weird stuff to him, and earth's gravity is lighter. I present the case that almost every port-a-potty you will encounter is like a miniature Krypton. With a special nod to the intense heat and humidity we're all going through this year, the atmosphere inside  is CLEARLY less nourishing, what hazy sunlight that does filter through is quite often blue or green, depending on which color of plastic it was cheaper to make it in that week. And the gravity? As a runner, have you ever tried to get up from these things and felt as though it was just a little bit harder than it
should be? I rest my case.

   Thus, when exposed to lighter gravity, (totally true) a more nourishing atmosphere, (duh) and feel the warm sun hitting your face after exposure to who-knows-what, you are a stronger, fitter machine. Able to outpace your running partners and carry on a conversation with ease.

Much like Krypton, it will eventually tear itself apart

  Alas, these powers are temporary. You will get hot, your lungs burn and your legs will tire; you will forget what it feels like to be an invulnerable runner. But for those moments right after you step out? You will feel amazing. Another way of looking at this is to looks at summer training as one giant portable bathroom. It's  hot, probably sticky in places you don't want to think about, and there are a plethora of flies. BUT if you can stand it, if you can persevere though it and get what you have to do done, you come out the other side a
stronger, fitter runner.







   For me personally, I'm hoping that spending these summer months sweating out every last drop of bodily fluid I have while pushing my legs, lungs, and mental boundaries further and further will allow me to #SetFireToTheMountain this October at Medoc.


   As always, thanks for reading, and remember kids; if you want to grow up big and strong you have got to eat your #burritos.

Always on top of the food pyramid