Treadmill warrior

Bring the humidity to 100%.

  If you're an avid reader of the Crazy People with Nice Shoes blog, (I'll wait until you're finished laughing) then you know its that time of the year for me again. That magical time of the year when I swear I'm going to train my hardest for Medoc and win at least a spot in the age group awards. I stop eating junk, start getting more sleep and become more dedicated to speed and distance workouts.


   That typically lasts for about a month. Then I realize I don't like the heat and oppressive Stalin-like regime humidity levels of the south. I've also found myself at a loss every year when it comes to running the intense and sudden elevation that Medoc presents. This year I may have found a solution, and it comes from when I first started running... WARNING: INCOMING ORIGIN STORY.

The caption is built into the picture.

   When I first started running everything I did was on the treadmill, with absolutely zero incline. And I LOVED IT. I was getting the best of both worlds. I was running, I had a/c, I even got to look outside the window of the gym. Thats like being outside, right? And then I ran a 5k. 

   Afterwards I was more committed to the treadmill than ever. A few months (and probably even fewer treadmill visits) later, I remembered that at the end of that 5k a friend had mentioned a race named "Medoc." She said it was an amazing event, and figuring I didn't have anything to lose I finally bit the bullet and registered. Arriving on the bitter cold race day morning my life was changed forever. I "ran" 10 miles over rivers, rocks, mud and trail and was blown away by how much fun everyone seemed to be having both before, and after the event. I vowed that for no other reason than to thank all the volunteers and directors for their amazing work I would show up again the following year and perform better than I had this year. And I never set foot back on the treadmill.

   That is, until this year. With the death of my garmin, (I'm still lamenting) I've had to stick to known routes or running with people who have a way of tracking the distance. The problem being that routes get old and stale, and friends aren't always around to run with. This also doesn't solve the lack of elevation change in my virtually-under-the-swamp neck of the woods. Unwilling to face the plastic and metal monstrosity at the gym I continued to plod along until one night my run was either to be canceled, or find an alternative. 

Searching for that big satellite in the sky.
(Figuratively) 

    And so, one night under the duress of a massive rainstorm, I went back to my roots at the gym and found a treadmill.  Frowning even as I started it up, I knew that to even be the equal of the road I would need to up the incline percentage. I cranked it up a bit and began to run, shaking my head in dismay, believing that real runners didn't run the treadmill unless the absolutely had to. I felt as though this was a step backwards, had I not broken the chains of the vile gym room run years ago?

   And then a curious thing happened. I noticed a little box on the last screen that indicated the elevation gained. Having had many of my friends relocate in the last year to places that are not only amazing for runners, but include things like mountains and high elevation trails I could typically only wonder what such amazing elevation gain would feel like when I gazed upon their garmin routes. In a really low wattage moment of insight I realized I could, in fact (at least partially) experience what they had.  I set to not only ramping up my speed, by trying to increase my purported elevation gain. Night after night I have been sneaking away from the house and to the treadmill, feeling like I have been cheating on the roads and trails that have been there for me over the past few years. With every new increase in elevation over a run, the pangs of guilt I felt were a little less noticeable. 

   Earlier this week I decided to hit the roads to see how much I had lost by running on the treadmill. Because we all know they do the work for you, right? Turns out I haven't lost a step; I've actually gained a few. Without the intense incline I was able to pull down marathon training times without too much effort. Just to make sure it wasn't a fluke, I tried another road run a few days later, and once again I ran favorable training times. Albeit the humidity almost killed me the first mile.  

Balance achieved 

    I'm still no fan of the treadmill, I will admit in certain instances it definitely has its merits. For a guy who has been stuck in flat lands, with torrential daily downpours for the past two weeks it has become a life saver. I'm sure there are other runners in other places who may have outstanding conditions which require them to make use of the treadmill. I for one am going to judge just a little bit less when I see these folks running on motorized hamster wheels, as I've become one of the treadmill warriors.  I think the trick is to find just the right balance between getting the resistance of the outdoors, and simulating conditions like hills and declines that you would might not normally be able to experience on your own turf.  

   As I write this I've got three and a half more months until I #setfiretothemountain. Stay tuned to marvel at what kind of idiocy, attempts and lengths I'll go to to try win an age group award. I can't promise the writing will get any better, but the jokes will definitely get cheesier. In the meantime, thanks for reading!