Obligatory update

   A friend asked me the other day when I was going to update and write another blog entry. My ever poetic response was as follows. "Uhhhhh...yeah. I should do that."

I have to leave a little early....Grandma would want me to beat Jenny.

   For starters, updates. In december I realized I was just shy of 1,000 miles for the year for the first time that didn't involve traveling by car. I decided to post up on facebook in the hopes that eternal internet shame would force me to get out and get the mileage. I got something even better in terms of motivation; a challenge. Jenny pointed out that she was about ten miles closer to a thousand than I was (of course) and the race was on. We ended up running together for a good chunk of our last hundred miles and when we weren't, we were excusing ourselves from parties, dinners and other events to top the others newly facebook posted mileage.
   In the end I hit 1,000 miles roughly 4 miles before she did. The challenge definitely got me out the door and running, and pushed me through some of the worst of my marathon training. Which, I have decided, is the worst thing a human being can be put through. Forget bamboo behind your fingernails, water boarding, or death by a thousand cuts. Take an average man and show him what his marathon training plan will be for the next 16 weeks and watch him break down and weep in a performance worthy of an oscar.

I don't know why their tiny cups anger me so much

    Luckily(?) for me, it'll all be over soon. I can't believe that as I am writing this I have less than a month until the Rock n' Roll New Orleans marathon! (www.runrocknroll.competitor.com/new-orleans)  I've made great strides (haha-see what I did there? My mom tells me I'm hilarious) in terms getting faster and being able to go the distance, but I'm never sure its enough. I mean, I'm running 22 miles in about an hour and a half sooooo.... hopefully the competition has either had a heart attack or taken to smashing his computer out of frustration and has stopped reading. So now I can let you guys in on the real deal. While I'm no where near there, the late nights through the blistering wind, the hail pelting my face during icy rain storms, and the strange looks as people are justifiably angry that I might have dented their hoods when I failed to leap out of the way of their car in time HAVE paid off as I am hitting my goal numbers, including shaving almost 20 minutes off my half marathon pr as of last week!  But being "on track" doesn't stop me from waking up in cold sweats from nightmares involving my competition and his new national-champion coach sitting outside of a Colorado cafe sipping super-secret-fast-juice and laughing about how "Olympians think they're the fast ones...hahaha." all in a cheesy uppercrust British accent. 
   Regardless, the plane flight is booked, the hotel room reserved, and new shoes purchased. Now, I just have a month to let every thought in my brain be dominated by 'what ifs' on race day. Even typing that is causing me to sweat profusely while getting a disgusted look from the girl next to me at Starbucks. (I will remain here out of loyalty to you reading this. Please remember that if you ever get a collect call from Folsom county prison from: "IT'S THE GUY WHO WRITES THE RUNNING BLOG!!" I'll consider it cashing in my favor.) This upcoming week Jenny and I will be attending a half marathon race that we will both be using as a tune up to see where we're at. (She and I will be running the Tobacco Road marathon against each other with a bunch of other friends approximately one month after New Orleans.) I'm hoping to bring my race time down to a new pr and figure out exactly which shoes that I'm going to race in at the battle of the century. Currently in the running are the Brooks Pure Connect 2, and the Brooks Pure Drift. 

Make another joke, funny guy

   Aside from that, there is the ever important hydration and diet plan the week of the marathon, figuring out which water stops and where to take them during the race, and finding a way to convince the TSA that my s-cap salt pills are not in fact, drugs. Even more important will be finding a way to resist making a crack that they didn't seem to stop Lance Armstrong from getting on the plane, why are they harassing me?
  
   

   Now if you'll excuse me, I apparently have some rehydrating to do.

Like you didn't see this coming.